All You Need
by Lady Maggie
Summary: Tai goes out for a boys night out with Matt, TK, and Izzy, but doesn't return home to Mimi that night. Where did he go? Why is Matt so affected by Tai's coices and what will Mimi do about it?


Authors note: So I was listening to this song by Dream, you know the he loves me he loves you not song? Well any ways I was thinking about how that would never happen, and how if given the chance the guy would totally cheat on the chick. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally guy crazy, ask anyone but my mom (she's so clueless and I'd prefer to keep it that way), but my actual faith in them is extremely minimal. And to all you guys out there if the roles were reversed I think the chick would act the same way, we live in a very corrupt society. And what does all my ranting have to do with this story? Well… read it! Oh, and by the way if I get enough responses to this I just might make a mimato sequel, but only if I get over 10 responses. So if you want a mimato sequel get some other mimato fans to review or e-mail too. Later days!  
  
Dedication: I'm dedicating this to Kate, because of her Michi obsession and all, and I know you'll hate me after this is over, but I don't care! Ha ha ha, that's right, I don't care… but don't hate me, kay? I'd like to also dedicate this to Gia who my character Katherine is based on her.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own digimon that'll happen after word domination.  
  
~ All You Need ~  
  
~Mimi's point of view~  
  
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" he grinned, making my heart skip a beat.  
  
Kissing my cheek he pulled me closer and I rolled my eyes at him, only to throw my head back in fits of giggles. He always could make me laugh, even when he was leaving me to go out with the guys, he could still make me laugh.  
  
"Yes, but you don't tell me enough, as I think you should," I said matter-of-factly, crossing my arms in mock defiance.  
  
"I don't!" he gasped placing his hand over his heart. "Well I'm just going to have to make it up to you then."  
  
"Oh don't worry," I grinned mischievously, "you will."  
  
"Ouch," he cringed back as if in pain, "should I start running?"  
  
"Only if you can get away!" I cried, tackling him to floor.   
  
My assault began when I started tickling him, sending him into spasms of laughter. I pulled up his shirt, exposing his sleek muscular stomach, attacking that with my fingers. Straddling him between my legs to pin him to the floor, I continued on, making him gasp for air.   
  
On any other occasion he could have easily lifted me off him, but not now. I knew his greatest weakness, one that would paralyze him until he begged me for mercy. Just the way I liked it.  
  
"Uncle! Uncle!" he screamed, trying to twist out of my grasp with no luck.  
  
"Not this time!" I giggled ceasing my assault to press my lips hungrily against his.  
  
He smiled into the kiss before wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me closer to him. I ran my fingers through his soft chestnut hair as he ran his tongue over my lips, sending pleasurable shivers down my spine. The way he made me feel was simply amazing, I only prayed that I made him feel the same way. As I met my tongue with his, he rolled over until he was on top, supporting the majority of his weight with his elbows that were placed on either side of me.  
  
My back arched involuntarily as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through my body when he moved his lips from mine to run a trail of kisses along my jaw. He moved down my neck, his nimble fingers unbuttoning my top.  
  
At first I didn't hear it. The sharp, nervous coughs that echoed off the walls of my living room. My eyes were closed, my mind hazy with want and need, so I ignored it as if it was nothing, continuing to run my hands up and down my boyfriends powerful back.  
  
Then it happened again, the sharp nervous cough. Sighing heavily I opened my eyes to see three of my best friends standing in the doorway of the living room.  
  
My cheeks turned from a healthy glowing pink to a burning crimson in less then three seconds. Coughing myself, I pushed Tai off of me… somewhat, then greeted my friends.  
  
"Hey guys… I guess you're here to pick up Tai, eh?" I laughed nervously, trying to rebutton my shirt while Tai straightened his out, rising to feet. Holding out his hand he pulled me up with him.  
  
"Precisely," Izzy nodded, looking at everything but Tai and me.  
  
"Yeah," Matt said, his voice seething with sarcasm. Looking straight at Tai and me he continued on, "Sorry to break up this make out fest, but chicks don't stay out all night."  
  
"The kind you date do," Tai laughed with us at his own joke.  
  
Matt shrugged, uncaring. "Yeah well, the kind TK dates don't, so get your ass in gear," Matt gave a little smile, wrapping an arm around his little brother and my best friend, TK.  
  
"Come on Matt! You're embarrassing me," TK chuckled stepping out of his brother's grasp.  
  
"Although quite juvenile in his reasoning, Matt is right Tai, we really should be going," Izzy stepped in.  
  
"All right, all right," Tai smiled.  
  
Giving me one last kiss, Tai grabbed his jacket and ran out the door with Matt, TK, and Izzy, for a night out on the town.  
  
"I think I'll take a nice long bubble bath," I said to myself, strolling to the bathroom, shedding my clothes as I went.  
  
***  
  
~Matt's point of view~   
  
"Here we are," I smirked, skidding my convertible into a parking spot at one of the biggest clubs in Odiaba.  
  
What can I say? Being a rock star does have its advantages.  
  
"Must you always do that Matt?" Izzy questioned peevishly, his fingers grasping tightly onto the black leather interior of the back seat.  
  
"Relax Izzy," I stepped out, locking the door behind me. "You've got to learn to live a little."  
  
"That's exactly what I'd like to do, live," Izzy replied acidicly stepping out as well.  
  
Sighing, I waited for TK and Tai to get out of my car before heading for the entrance of the club. Izzy was a completely hopeless case. Don't get me wrong, Izzy's like a brother to me, but really! There's only so much boredom I can take.  
  
"Hey Diego, what's up man?" I asked the doorman as I cut through the line with my friends.  
  
"Ishida!" he greeted patting me roughly on the back. "What have you been up to?"  
  
"You know, little bit of this, little bit of that," I shrugged, passing him a couple of bills. "So how are the chicks tonight?"  
  
"Better then usual. But I'd watch out for Betty, she's a little touchy tonight," he laughed a deep hearty laugh fitting for his massive bulk. "She has been since you chucked her."  
  
I cringed a little at the memory of Betty. Boy, could that woman throw a tantrum!   
  
"Thanks man, I'll keep an eye out for her," I promised, moving inside the bouncing club with my brother and my friends behind me.  
  
"Who's Betty?" I could always count on Tai to eavesdrop.  
  
"A big mistake," I replied glumly. "So who wants a drink?"  
  
"I do," TK nodded, gaping at the dancers.  
  
"That would be relatively nice," Izzy agreed.  
  
"Hey, whatever floats your boat, man," I said making my way to the bar.  
  
Ordering the drinks I grabbed a table somewhere between the dance floor and the bar. That way I wouldn't be asked to dance every five minutes, but could still keep an eye on everything.  
  
"Is that who I think it is?" Tai asked, gaping at a woman on the dance floor when I arrived with our drinks.  
  
Setting the drinks down I looked out onto the dance in the direction that Tai was. A woman, about our age, with shoulder length hair, fair skin, and slim body, was moving very sensuously with the music. She had on a short white dress that flowed with her every movement, and stuck to her almost like a second skin. I had to admit, she was a complete hottie, and I would be all over her right now if she weren't one of my best friends.  
  
"Only if you're seeing Sora," I replied, handing TK and Izzy their drinks.  
  
"Wow!" Tai mumbled not taking his eyes off her supple form.  
  
I rolled my eyes as TK tried not to check Sora out and Izzy loosened his collar. I probably would have been laughing my ass off if Tai weren't drooling over Sora. There he was with a beautiful, loving, wonderful girlfriend, and he was outright gawking at another woman, who happened to be one of his best friends. Tai's had the hots for Sora ever since we returned from the digitalworld. I have absolutely no clue why he even started dating Mimi in the first place.  
  
"Why don't you just ask her to dance?" I sighed trying to keep the anger out of my voice. I guess it didn't work, because TK and Izzy gave me a knowing look of sympathy.  
  
I shrugged as if I didn't care and sunk a little deeper into my seat.  
  
"Do you think Mimi would mind?" Tai nodded, already moving onto the dance floor.  
  
"How would I know?" I muttered hopelessly. "It's not as if I know her deepest darkest secrets, that's the kind of thing her boyfriend would know."  
  
Tai didn't even answer; Sora was already in his arms.  
  
I shook my head lightly, downing my drink in one gulp as I got up from my seat, "So who needs another drink?"  
  
***  
  
~Tai's point of view~  
  
"So why are you here, Sora?" I asked spinning her out.  
  
"I'm here with this girl I met a few days ago, Betty. She's pretty nice but a little short tempered," Sora replied breathlessly lifting her arms above her head and swinging her hips in a way that made my head spin.  
  
I laughed mentally, or at least tried to. The way Sora moved made my breath go shallow and my throat go dry. I moved around her, pulling her closer so her back was against my chest. She felt so good against me. As I ran my hands down her sides and over her hips I could feel her tremble against me making my own body tremble with a feeling I only felt when I was around Sora.  
  
As the minutes past and the music blared on I lost myself even more within the world that my mind was creating, a world that consisted of only Sora and I.  
  
"Tai?" Sora whispered in a voice that made my body tremble with excitement.  
  
"Huh?" I muttered still unable to take my eyes off her.  
  
"I getting kinda tired," she smiled a little childishly, "we've been dancing for almost half an hour."  
  
Half an hour!?! I hadn't even noticed, I guess time really does fly by when you're having fun. I smiled myself, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.  
  
Taking her hand I led her off the dance floor to where I had been previously been sitting with Matt, TK, and Izzy. She followed wordlessly behind me.  
  
"Hey guys," I greeted releasing Sora's hand, but making sure to get a seat next to her. "Did I miss anything good?"  
  
"Well," TK began, "Matt's seeing if he can break his previous drinking record and Izzy's been making goo-goo eyes at some girl at the bar."  
  
I looked over at Matt who was downing some kind of alcohol. He seemed a little wavery, I wonder how many drinks he's had? From there I looked to Izzy who had a deep blush setting in as he caught the eyes of a tall girl with short dark hair at the bar.  
  
"Why don't you just go talk to her already?" Matt questioned rolling his eyes.  
  
"I can't do that!" Izzy gasped taking his eyes off the girl to glare at Matt.  
  
"Why not? She's just a chick, she'll probably screw you over in the end anyway," Matt spat rising shakily to his feet.  
  
"You're a little bitter when you're drunk, aren't you?" Izzy teased smiling.  
  
"I'm not drunk!" Matt assured. "I've only had…" he raised his hand and began to count on his fingers, "like twelve drinks. I've still got a couple left."  
  
We all laughed at Matt's drinking theory. I wouldn't doubt that he could drink that much without feeling the full effects of the alcohol though, he did have this problem of drinking when he was depressed, which happened quite a lot. I wonder what was up with him? I'll ask him later.  
  
"Whatever," Matt muttered, "If you won't talk to the girl I will."  
  
"No! Matt!" Izzy cried but Matt was already on his way to the bar.  
  
We all watched with interest as Matt ordered another drink, gulped it down, ordered another, then stepped up to the girl Izzy had been starring at. They talked for a while, Matt rolled his eyes, and the girl blushed, then glanced at Izzy. I grinned at Izzy who looked down sheepishly at his drink. When Matt finished talking to the girl she turned to the woman beside her and said a few words that none of us could hear.   
  
The girl beside her was relatively smaller, with long brown hair tied back in a bunch of intricate braids. She shook her head as she rolled her eyes, but smiled and nodded anyway. The one Matt had been talking to grinned and headed for our table with Matt right behind her, drink in hand. As they walked, the woman who had been at the bar with the girl Izzy liked tilted her head and bit her bottom lips trying to hide a grin.  
  
I burst out laughing as I realized that she was checking Matt out. It wasn't just that though, when she turned to the blond guy next to her he looked a little hurt, well okay, he looked a lot hurt. Is it just me or does that sound funny? Any ways she just smiled and kissed him, which seemed to be just fine with him. If only all life problems were solved with a simple kiss.  
  
"Izzy," Matt smirked, and as he reached for the table to support his wobbling body I let out another stifled chuckle, "this is Katherine, Katherine, Izzy."  
  
"H-hello," Izzy stuttered, standing up to greet Katherine.  
  
"Hey," Katherine smiled.  
  
After a few moments of silence Matt continued on, "And this is TK, Tai, and Sora," Matt introduced the rest of us.  
  
We each greeted her kindly, as she did to us. And as always, that awkward moment passed by in an unsettling silence. I hate silence, don't you?  
  
"Would you like to dance, Izzy?" Katherine asked after a few moments.  
  
"I-I'd love to," Izzy grinned, "are you sure it's all right with your friend?"  
  
Katherine glanced back towards her friend who was still necking with the blond, "You mean Megdalena? She'll be busy for hours, trust me."  
  
"Hours?" Matt gasped snapping his head up from his drink.  
  
Katherine nodded, grabbing Izzy's hand and leading him to the dance floor.  
  
"You'll have to introduce us!" Matt yelled after her, while the rest of us laughed.  
  
"Introduce you to who?" A woman's voice flooded past us like venom, even above the blaring music and screaming people.  
  
We all turned around to face a tall, skinny woman, with short blue hair and equally blue eyes. She had a vicious grin on and her arms were crossed in a disapproving stance. All in all, she looked pissed.  
  
"Betty!" Matt sneered, cringing back.  
  
"Hello lover," Betty snapped stepping closer to us.  
  
To tell you the truth, I wanted to run, far, far away. That woman scared me more then Myotismon ever did, and I still had nightmares over Myotismon.  
  
Matt pinched his nose in frustration and took another sip of his drink. "Listen Betty, it was a one time thing."  
  
"One time thing?" Betty glared, "We dated for like three weeks!"  
  
"Yeah, a one time thing. After getting to know you, I'd only date you once," Matt smirked.  
  
Despite the situation and myself, I laughed. It was funny! Wasn't it? Any way, that didn't seem to sit well with her, and if looks could kill, I'd be turning in my grave. Boy, was she scary!  
  
"Listen Matt, I'm not saying that we didn't have our problems, but nothing we couldn't work out," Betty pleaded desperately.  
  
"No way, Betty, I happen to have a sense of taste… not you." Matt sighed, setting out to the bar, probably for something a little stronger then what he was drinking.  
  
"No? NO!?!" Betty shrieked, "NO ONE SAYS NO TO ME!"  
  
"I just did!" Matt snapped around, "Just get out of my face! Move on already!"  
  
"No! You're not leaving me Matt Ishida!" Betty promised.  
  
Matt shook his head then looked over at one of the bouncers. The huge man nodded then proceeded to escort Betty out of the club.  
  
"Damn," Matt sighed, "I love being a rock star."  
  
"You really know how to choose your girls, Ishida," I smirked, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"Shit happens," Matt muttered continuing onto the bar.  
  
"What's up with Matt, TK?" I asked getting a little worried.  
  
Matt was one of my best friends and I could tell that something was definitely wrong. Something big, if it wasn't he could have easily hidden his feelings, even from me.  
  
"Umm… it, it's nothing," TK stuttered unable to look me in the eye.  
  
"TK, is there something you're not telling me?" I said, eyeing him even closer.  
  
"Listen Tai, I'd tell you if I could, but I promised Matt I wouldn't," TK explained.  
  
"All right," I agreed, "So, having any fun?"  
  
"Not really, there's nothing here that really interests me," TK sighed, "I shouldn't have turned down Kari's offer to have a movie night."  
  
"Kari? Movie night?" I questioned.  
  
"Yeah, me and Kari stay up all night and watch movies… oops!" TK gasped, "I wasn't suppose to tell you that."  
  
"Sure," I muttered sarcastically.  
  
I can't believe it! TK and Kari! …Okay, so I can believe it, but still!   
  
"Are you dating my sister?" I asked getting straight to the point.  
  
TK again, looked down at his half-finished drink, a deep blush setting in.  
  
"TK?" I said again, unsure if I was mad at him or happy for him.  
  
"… Yes…" he admitted and following Matt's example, downed the rest of his drink.  
  
"How far have you gone? Second base? Third?" I probed deeper to try and see just how innocent TK claimed to be.  
  
"Tai!" Sora tisked, "Don't ask him that!"  
  
"Why not? I think I have a right to know," I smirked when I saw just how uncomfortable I was making TK. "Are you sleeping with my innocent little sister?"  
  
"Give it up Tai," Sora sighed taking my hand.  
  
"Where are we going?" I asked still trying to glare at TK, but only ended up laughing.  
  
"I want to dance" Sora explained.   
  
"But I was just going t-" I started when she lifted her fingers to my lips and pulled me close.  
  
I grinned, pulling her closer as well totally forgetting that I even had a little sister. It's amazing how some girls can do that to you. Make you see nothing but them make you want nothing but them, and to tell you the truth, I loved it, every second of it.  
  
***  
  
~Sora's point of view~  
  
"Oh! Mmmm…." I moaned, fumbling blindly for the keys to my apartment as Tai brought me closer, nibbling on my neck.  
  
Finding my keys I opened the door to my apartment as hastily as I could, pulling Tai in immediately and locking the door behind us.  
  
"You have no idea how long I've waited for this Sora," Tai mumbled, pulling the straps of my dress off my shoulders he pushed me into my room and onto the bed.  
  
"Yes I do, Tai, because I've waited just as long," I gasped, pulling off his shirt so I could run my slender fingers over his muscular chest.  
  
He closed his eyes, inhaling sharply as I ran my hands over him. Lowering his head to mine he kissed me with a passion that had been keep inside him for years, and I kissed him back just as fiercely. Running his tongue over my lips he pushed my dress off of me and let it drop to the floor.   
  
He looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes and I felt myself shiver with both anticipation and shame. I was going to spend the night with the man I love, the man I've loved for years and all I could think about was how I was going to betray my best friends trust.  
  
Gathering every once of will I had I pushed Tai off me, I couldn't do this, I couldn't betray Mimi like this.  
  
"What's wrong Sora?" Tai asked quizzically.  
  
"We can't do this Tai, you're with Mimi," I explained, my voice shaky.  
  
I felt like I could almost cry, this was going to be way too hard. I looked at Tai and he looked at me with an irresistible look of longing in his deep brown eyes. Eyes that swirled with the colors of his soul, a soul he was willing to bare open to me.  
  
"I know I am Sora," Tai turned away from me in shame, "but this is right, I know it is. I can feel it Sora, this was meant to be no matter who we're with."  
  
He took my hands in his own and brought one of them up to his chest to rest lightly over his heart. I could feel his heartbeat beneath my trembling fingertips, its rhythm fast and hard. He then took my other hand and placed it over my own heart. My own heart beat hard and strong against my fingers, in perfect rhythm with Tai's. I gasped, surprised at the discovery and looked up at Tai to gauge his response. The corner of his soft lips lifted up into a tiny grin and I know that he somehow he already knew that his heartbeat would always be in sync with mine.   
  
"Do you feel that Sora?" he asked me in nothing more then a whisper. "That's you and me, that's fate and no matter what you're telling yourself right now you can't stop fate."  
  
I looked at him with nothing short of shock written on my face, he seemed to see past my every excuse and hit me where he knew I'd be most vulnerable. I sat before him, the words I wanted to form sitting expectantly on my lips with no breath to push them out.  
  
"I want you to listen to me Sora," Tai began his lips lowing to mine but not touching them. "I want you to let go of everything, I want you to let go of any doubt, of any fear, of any thought, and I want you to do what you feel is right, not what you think is right. Look deep within yourself Sora, I don't want there to be any regrets, either the regret of spending the night with me, in my arms, or the regret of telling me no and watching me leave. I will do anything you want me to Sora, either way you want it to go I'll do it."  
  
I took a deep and nodded my understanding. I had to admit, I was scared, scared of making the wrong choice, scared of ruining both my life and his. What was I to do? Let the man who I have loved since I was a child take to me to bed, or stay true to one of my best friends?  
  
"No regrets," Tai's whisper echoed in my ear and as the warmth from his breath sent a shiver down my spine I knew what my choice was going to be.  
  
"No regrets," I repeated wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his lips in to meet mine.  
  
***  
  
~First person omniscient~  
  
"Are you all right Matt?" Mimi asked when she stepped into the dark apartment where she hoped to find Tai.  
  
All that came from Matt was an unintelligible groan.  
  
"Matt?" Mimi questioned a little more concerned when he didn't get up to greet her.  
  
"Ungh…" he moaned again this time making the effort to sit up… or at least he tried to.  
  
Mimi walked over to him where he lay on his couch. She looked at him and noted the stench of alcohol emanating from him. He lay sprawled out on the couch, his clothes crumpled and wrinkled, some articles of his clothing even ready to fall off.  
  
"Have you been drinking again, Matt?" Mimi snorted with a slight hint of disgust.  
  
"Ungh… maybe… just… a little," he sounded as if he was going to fall back asleep.  
  
Mimi raised her eyebrows as she crossed her arms. "Well, did Tai happen to drink as much as you?"  
  
"Tai? Umm… no?" he replied almost quizzically forcing himself to sit up.  
  
That comment got Mimi to roll her eyes, but she couldn't help but smile. "Is he here?"  
  
Matt clutched at his head to ward off his oncoming headache. "Do you see him?"  
  
"My, aren't we a little testy this morning," Mimi tisked before giggling a little.  
  
"You think this is funny, don't you?" Matt grumbled.  
  
"Of course not," Mimi laughed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Why would I want to see Matt Ishida, world famous rockstar, in pain?"  
  
"Ha ha ha, funny Mimi. Why are you looking for Tai here? Didn't he come home last night?" Matt questioned changing the subject.  
  
"No, I thought he was here with you," Mimi stated, her worries setting in.  
  
"Well he's not, but if you'll wait a few minutes while a finishing throwing up, I'll go look for him with you," Matt promised running to the bathroom.  
  
"Yuck!" Mimi sighed to herself, but stayed anyway.   
  
She tried to distract herself from Matt's retching by going over the many awards his singing career had bestowed upon him.  
  
'How did Matt ever become so...' Mimi thought, groping for the right word. 'I don't know. He use to be so much stronger, he always looks so tired now. It's like his life has been drained away or something. What ever could have happened to him? Man! How much can one man throw up? He really shouldn't drink so much. I hope he'll be all right.'  
  
"You ready to go?" Matt came out of the bathroom, a toothbrush in his mouth.  
  
"I am," Mimi informed, "you're not."  
  
Matt looked down at his attire and shrugged. "I guess you're right," he agreed between brushes.  
  
Strolling to the bathroom, Mimi could hear Matt spit them rinse numerous times.  
  
"Do you mind if I have a shower?" Matt questioned already beginning to remove his rumpled clothing.  
  
"I would prefer it," Mimi assured remembering how he had smelt when she entered the apartment.  
  
"I'll only be a minute," Matt promised, shutting the door, blocking off Mimi's view of his sleek muscular body.  
  
Mimi sighed heavily, her mind once again turning back to her beloved. Where on earth could he be? He wouldn't just leave without telling her, would he? No. Then could something be wrong? Could something have happened to Tai preventing him from returning to her? Perhaps, perhaps not. She wouldn't know until she found him, and if he was doing this as some practical joke, then she would definitely give him a piece of her mind.   
  
Mimi's mind traveled to every possible occurrence that her troubled imagination could fabricate, each one twisting her emotions within her in hales of storms that just brought more worries. Those emotions continued to churn within her psyche, pounding down on her with a force unlike any other, a force unfelt by such a young heart, bringing her to tears. They pushed through the fragile barrier that she had managed to put up, overwhelming her with their intensity, pushing past her reddening eyes and down her pale cheeks to where they could be seen, making her vulnerable.  
  
Mimi quickly wiped away the stinging rains of the raging siege that flooded her body and soul, and she needed to take in a deep breath to sooth the storms that plagued her, to calm them before she was too far gone in their miseries.  
  
"Are you all right, Mimi?" Matt question seeing the tear stains on her cheeks.  
  
He frowned at the sight of her so sad, so alone, and wished nothing more then to wipe away the tears she shed for his best friend and longed to pull her into his loving embrace, to kiss away her pain and drink away her misery.   
  
She turned to him and smiled the saddest smile his eyes have ever beheld, and as his heart sunk with the expression, his face remained passive with the slightest hint of worry.  
  
"I'm fine, Matt" Mimi assured, but her heart wasn't in her voice, leaving the void of doubt in both their minds. "Ready to go?"  
  
"Yeah…" Matt murmured unsure if he should press the subject of her tears. "How about you go and check with Izzy and I'll go check with TK, see if he's turned up with one of them?"  
  
"That sounds good," Mimi nodded unable to meet his steady gaze. A gaze cold and steady that threatened to bring her to her knees, to sear through her flesh, but at the same time threatened to overwhelm her with their warmth and desire.  
  
How odd her feelings were towards Matt. A mixture of pleasure and pain, fear and trust, a feeling of loss and despair fussed with hope and undying friendship. Out of all the digidestined it was Matt who she admired the most, and at the same time feared. She wanted to reach out and touch him, hold him, ease the pain she saw behind the frozen hatred that were his sea blue eyes. Yet at the same time she wanted to cringe back at his strength, to hide from his searing gaze and come to tears over his harsh judgement. How odd indeed.   
  
Matt gave her his best Ishida grin and escorted her to his door, their quiet footsteps echoing throughout his apartment, reminding him of just how empty it was.  
  
"I'll meet you at you're place in about half an hour, kay? I have some other places I want to check," Matt instructed hopping into his car the firm leather cushions just soft enough to conform to his body.  
  
"Sure," Mimi agreed unsure of what to think of Matt's comment.  
  
Where else could Tai possibly be? Where else could Matt want to search?  
  
Matt revved up the engine listening to it's gentle purr, he smiled again before screeching out of the parking lot leaving Mimi to herself, her melancholy sinking in like the dust left by Matt's spinning wheels.  
  
Where could Tai be?  
  
~Matt's point of view~  
  
"So Tai didn't come home last might, how surprising!" I spat sarcastically speeding down the freeway.  
  
I had a pretty good idea of where Tai was it wasn't very hard to figure out. Tai and Sora we're dancing pretty close last night. Oh hell, who am I kidding? If they had been dancing any closer someone could have filmed it and sold it as friggin porn! Soft core of course, but that's not the point! Or is it? Dammit!  
  
All right I'll admit it, I'm mad… no I'm beyond mad, I'm pissed! How could Tai do that to Mimi? It just didn't make sense to me! Why would anyone want to loose someone as special as Mimi? That son of a bitch has no idea how much he screwed up this time.  
  
I shook my head in disgust and popped my newest Our Lady Peace CD into the CD player, turning up the volume as much as my eardrums would allow. Opening the glove box I pulled out my shades and slipped them on before slamming the glove box closed.   
  
What am I going to do about Mimi? Should I tell her about Tai and Sora? First of all though I have to confirm my suspicions, but how can I do that without Mimi finding out? Hmmm… Izzy! Shit! Izzy will tell Mimi, Tai left with Sora!  
  
I took one hand off the steering wheel and shoved it into every creak and crevice that I could reach trying to find my cell phone.  
  
"Boo-ya!" I cheered grasping my phone and turning it on.  
  
I waited, with each ring my anger flared.  
  
"H-hello?" I heard the huffing reply of Izzy.  
  
I raised an eyebrow and smirked before answering. "Did I interrupt anything, Izzy?" I yelled over the music before getting the brilliant idea of turning it down.  
  
"Umm…" Izzy started nervously, "I was… I was just-"  
  
"Banging the chick you met at the bar?" I finished for him.   
  
"No! I mean, yes! No… I-I…" Izzy stuttered, obviously he wasn't as comfortable admitting to having sex as I was, not surprising though.  
  
"I've heard all the excuses, Izzy. Hell, I've probably made most of them up, but right now Mimi's coming over and I-" it was my turn to be cut off.  
  
"Mimi? " Izzy almost shrieked, "Mimi can't come over now! I-I have to clean up!"  
  
"Don't you mean get dressed?" I teased, man was it fun pulling Izzy's chain.  
  
"Matt!" Izzy screamed still panicking.  
  
"Just relax Izzy," I demanded," I promise not to tell anyone of your little endeavor, but you have to make sure that Mimi doesn't find out that Tai left with Sora, kay?"  
  
"Why? Did Tai not return home last night?" Izzy asked breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
"No he didn't," I almost spat, but managed to keep my voice under control. "I just want to check out a few things before I tell Mimi, all right?"  
  
"I'll do my best," Izzy promised.  
  
"Thanks Iz," I grinned, "later days."  
  
"Later," Izzy said his goodbye and before we were disconnected I heard Izzy gasp quite loudly and then a loud excited giggle from his female companion.  
  
Nice job Izzy! I smiled feeling a little triumphant at Izzy conquest. After all if I hadn't introduced them, Izzy never would have experienced his first one night stand… all though this probably would turn out to be more then a one night stand knowing Izzy. He's way too sentimental if you ask me. One of these days he's going to fall so bad he's never going to be able to pick himself back up. That reminds me, Katherine still has to introduce me to… what's her name? Meg? Meggan? No… Megdalena! Man, was she a hottie! Hope she's not too attached to blondie.   
  
Turning up the music once more I pushed my foot harder on the gas, well above the average speed limit. I knew it was wrong, but what can I say? It's fun.  
  
I pulled into the parking lot of Sora's apartment and got out of my car taking off my sunglasses. This was going to be interesting, very, very, interesting.  
  
It didn't take me long to get up to Sora's apartment to knock impatiently at her door. I listened for a moment and heard the usual, a few hurried grunts, the ruffling of clothing being thrown on, and the clumsy shuffling towards the door.  
  
"Hello?" Sora greeted opening her door a crack, "oh, hey Matt. What are you doing here?"  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously, she looked everywhere but into my eyes, she must have been really busy last night.  
  
"Hey Sora, I need to speak with Tai for a moment," I informed quite casually despite the rage I was feeling inside. This might be harder then I thought it would be.  
  
She looked at me in shook, a deep crimson blush spreading quickly across her face.   
  
"He- he's not here, Matt," she stuttered nervously and I could here the alarm in her quiet voice, she was lying. They always lie.  
  
"Don't fuck with me Sora, I know he's here." I replied just as smoothly then heard her give out a loud gasp. I guess she's never heard me swear, especially at her. Maybe that was going a little too far? She's still my friend after all…  
  
"I-I…"  
  
"Just get him please," I sighed trying the polite route as I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. This game is wearing on my nerves and I'm as pissed enough as it is.  
  
She nodded tears in her eyes, and for the first time in a long time I felt bad for making a girl cry. Really bad, I'll have to make a note to apologize later.  
  
I took a deep drag, letting the bitter smoke fill my lung making me want to gag. I held it in though, letting as much as the nicotine that I could enter my system. I hated smoking, I loved the high from it though, maybe I should try the gum instead? There was a plan.  
  
"What are you doing here Matt?" Tai's groggy voice pulled me away from the burning sensation in my lungs.  
  
He came out of the apartment shutting the door quietly behind him, leaving Sora to wonder about the consequences of last night.   
  
I let the smoke that was most likely killing me out of my lungs slowly. "You did it, didn't you?" My question was icy and dangerously low. I didn't mean for it to be it just turned out that way. I was supposed to be the cool one, why the hell was this effecting me so much?   
  
"Did what?" Tai asked innocently, and like Sora he refused to meet my glare.  
  
"You know what Tai," I was sure he knew I could see it in his eyes. "Did you bang Sora?"  
  
"I'm not sure what you're talking about Matt," Tai spat defiantly "I don't follow rockstar slang."  
  
"All right," I sneered back. If he wanted to play this game then I'd make sure he'd loose. "How's this? Did you sleep with Sora? Did you have sex with her? Did you get down and dirty, get lost in the moment, fuck her? Maybe those are a little too direct, how about fool around? Make the play? Get a home run?"  
  
"That's enough Matt," Tai warned, turning to enter Sora's apartment.  
  
"What's wrong Tai? Did I hit a little too close to home?" I taunted grabbing his arm before he could leave the conversation.  
  
"It's none of your business!" Tai screamed, swinging his balled first at me.   
  
I saw it coming from a mile away and ducked effortlessly, but at the same time my cigarette feel to the floor. Damn! Oh well, this was going to be easy.   
  
"You better be careful Tai," I warned stepping on the smoking end of my cigarette, snuffing it out, "you'll start a fire."  
  
"I mean it Matt, stay out of my business, and that's just what it is. My business!" Tai almost screamed and I watched as he turned red with anger.  
  
I grabbed the collar of Tai's shirt with both my fists and slammed him into the wall.  
  
"Like hell it's not!" I argued keeping him pinned to the wall. "My best friend just cheated on one of my other best friends, you scum! How could it not be any of my business? Huh?"  
  
"Just back off, I can handle it!" he raged trying to wriggle out of my grasp, but failed miserably leaving me with a guilty satisfaction.  
  
"Was it worth it Tai? Was Sora really worth Mimi's love? She must be damn good to make you forget about Mimi like that," I sneered viciously. "If she's that good maybe I should get myself a girlfriend then bang Sora? What do you say? Do you think she'd be up to that?"  
  
"You son of a bitch!" Tai screamed pushing me to the floor. "Shut up Matt, just shut up!"  
  
I picked myself up before he could even think about attacking. If this was going to turn into an all out battle I'd be ready. In some ways I guess I wanted it to, I wanted to hit Tai, I wanted to beat the shit out of him. I'll lie off for now though, at least until my self control ran out, either that or my patience.  
  
I didn't see it coming and Tai made his move, clipping me in the jaw. That was it! My self-control and my patience were shoot out the door. To hell with being civil and too hell with the consequences!   
  
I pushed past the pain, I knew how to handle myself in a fight and that's what I was going to do. I brought my right fist up, hitting Tai in the stomach as hard as I could and I could literally feel the air leave his lungs. I hate too admit it, but it felt good, really good.  
  
I didn't expect his quick recovery and he pushed me to the ground again, falling on top of me. Shit! Did that hurt! I have to push past the pain, Tai can't win! Come on Matt, be a man!  
  
I kicked him off me, then rose quickly to my feet.  
  
"Why Tai, feeling guilty?" I scoffed bitterly.  
  
"Whatever you think happened Matt, you're wrong," Tai assured readying himself for an attack.  
  
"Oh please, Tai, don't pull that shit with me!" I scorned. "I know a cheater when I see one, and you have it written all over you."  
  
He remained passive for a moment, his dark eyes darkening even more with utter rage, the same rage burning within myself. He came at me with a wide clumsy punch to my face, and I blocked it easily bringing my other fist in to smash it into his open nose.  
  
He cringed back, a grunt of pain escaping him as he clutched at his nose that was now gushing out blood. It was probably broken and I felt sort of guilty, but the great thing about anger was that the guilt passed quickly.  
  
I leap at him again. What can I say? I had no self-restraint whatsoever, not that it mattered to me. I hit him again, and again, and again. His futile attempts to stop me were so pitiful I wanted to laugh.  
  
"Stop it! That's enough Matt!" Sora screamed; hot tears streaming down her face as she came out from the now open door.  
  
I looked at her, into her eyes and saw just how much it hurt her to see Tai all bloody and broken. She really loved him, she must. My eyes traveled back to Tai, he could hardly stay on his own feet, God he was stubborn.  
  
"How could you Matt?" Sora cried at me with disgust. "He's your his best friend and this is how you treat him?"  
  
"I-" I started guilt pulling at my heart. God damn conscious!  
  
"You know Matt, you were right." she growled pulling Tai into her embrace to take him back into the apartment. "You never did deserve the crest of friendship."  
  
Everything stopped, my mind, my heart, and my lungs. How could she be so cruel? She knew what my greatest weakness was, still is and she used it to stab me in the back with it! That bitch!   
  
"Fuck this!" I grumbled angrily storming away from her and Tai. "You've got three days to tell Mimi, Tai, or I'll tell her myself!" I threatened behind me knowing that he'd hear.  
  
Who were they to judge me? Who were they to say what I deserved and what I didn't? They betrayed one of their friends, one of the digidestined, one of our own! They had no right! No matter how cold I was or how distant I never, ever betrayed my friends, I always came through for them in the end! Always!   
  
I made no bother to open the door to my car and just jumped in, revving it to life. Like I cared? I pumped the music up, lit up another cigarette, and shoved my foot on the gas, I definitely needed to blow some steam! And I knew just how to do it...  
  
~Mimi's point of view~   
  
"Great! Not only am I missing Tai, but now I'm missing Matt as well! He'd said he's be here two hours ago!" I cried out in exasperation as I paced around my living room.  
  
"I have to admit this isn't exactly the best day of my life. First of all I woke up late, and my hair just wouldn't stay where it was suppose to. Yes, bad hair day, don't you hate those? The next thing I know Tai didn't come home last night, and when I went to find him I had to listen Matt throw up, Izzy was too busy gawking at some girl to answer any of my questions, and to top it all off, I was out of juice! That's right, no more juice! I don't know about you, but I need juice, people need juice!"  
  
I knew the whole juice thing was just a way to get my attention off of Tai though. I usually did that. I think about everything else but the problem at hand, I know it's childish, but thinking about the actual problem makes me depressed. I hate feeling that way… I seem to be feeling that way more and more now that I'm with Tai. I wonder why that is? I thought love was suppose to make you all warm and mushy inside and stuff, but all I feel with Tai is… I don't know. Sure when he's around I feel good, excited even, I love having fun with Tai, but when he's gone, I don't feel anything that special. My heart doesn't ache for him, even now when I have no idea where he is I don't long for his touch or wish his kiss, I'm just worried for his safety.   
  
Is that what love is? It can't be, but I love Tai, I know I do… I have to. He has to be the one; he just has to be!   
  
"Where could they be?" I shouted to no one but myself. I found that it felt better if I got everything off my chest, even if no one was around.  
  
I sighed heavily collapsing onto my soft plush couch, "My feet hurt," I whined.  
  
I shot up from the couch when familiar sound of my front door opening shook me to my senses.  
  
It had to be Tai! Tai was the only person who would come in uninvited.  
  
I ran around the corners of the picture-lined hallways to the front door.   
  
"Tai!" I cried with joy about to jump into his arms until I noticed all of the bruises. "Oh my God! What happened to you Tai? Are you all right? Who did that to you Tai?"  
  
"It's all right Mimi, I'm fine," Tai whispered hoarsely limping over to me.  
  
I stood shocked and confused. My boyfriend was in front of me looking as if he'd been in a bar fight and he was saying he was fine. That's Tai for you, the stubborn fool! His nose was swollen and bandaged and his lips were cut, crimson blood still escaping the confines of swollen flesh.   
  
"What happened to you Tai?" I questioned, tears stinging at my eyes.  
  
I was going to find out what happened no matter what!  
  
"Nothing that serious Mimi, just a little miscommunication," he hissed through clenched teeth as he moved to the kitchen.  
  
"Nothing my ass!" I replied angrily, I don't care how hurt he if, I'm not going to let him start lying to me. "Something happened Tai, and I want to know what."  
  
He looked at my through puffy eyes and sighed with defeat. I knew my charms and persuasion would win out in the end, they always do. "I… me and… Matt."  
  
"You and Matt what?" I pressed on helping him sit down one of the kitchen chairs.  
  
"We had a… disagreement," he said trying to worm his way around the question.  
  
"Matt did this to you?" I gasped unable to believe what he said.  
  
It couldn't be true! Tai and Matt haven't come to blows in years and even when they did it never got this bad. Matt would never do this to Tai, he's his best friend! I must have missed something or… something.  
  
"Tai?" I said again when he didn't reply.  
  
"Yes Matt did it, all right? I'm fine Mimi," he promised, and even though he face was swollen and broken I could see him making that face he always made when he didn't want me to worry over him.  
  
"Why?" I asked my anger growing with each thought.   
  
"I… we had a disagreement that's all Mimi, can we please drop this?" Tai pleaded resting his chin gingerly in his palms.  
  
He had a tone to his voice that I couldn't refuse so I nodded in agreement. Hmmm… if Tai won't tell me why, then perhaps Matt will? I smiled proudly to myself grabbing my pink spring coat. Mimi you are devious!  
  
"Where are you going Mimi?" Tai queried lifting his head.  
  
"Oh… I'm just going out to get you some Tylenol, we're out." I lied.  
  
So I lied? There was no shame in lying if it brought out the truth right? Therefore there was no need to feel guilty. Plus we really were out of Tylenol.  
  
"Don't be gone to long," Tai sighed, and I could tell by his voice he knew I was doing more then just going to the drug store.  
  
Now where would Matt be? He wouldn't be at his place, it was to early for the clubs… so where? I know! I'll try that coffee place he's always at! The one where he goes when he's feeling down, or was that where he goes to write his music? Why can I never remember the little details of everything?  
  
The ride to the coffee place was short, and the search for Matt was almost as short.   
  
He was sitting in the back of the place, his features shrouded by the dim light of the place. I stopped for a moment to watch him. There was something so captivating about Matt, it was just the way he looked when he thought no one was watching him. He looked almost child like I guess, he was totally at ease, sitting back in the deep red cushion of the both he sat in, a steaming cup of frothy coffee in his hand. A sheet of paper and a pen lay untouched in front of him and his shimmering blue eyes were fixed on the surface of that piece of paper.  
  
I took a deep breath, my eyes never leaving his placid body as I walked up and sat across from him.  
  
He jerked up, startled by me sudden presence, his coffee spilling onto his hands. He let out a sharp hiss setting the cup onto the table, staining the white sheet of lined paper. After he wiped the burning liquid off of his skin he looked up at me, the icy terrain of his eyes melting as they locked with mine.  
  
I decided to make the first move since I could tell he wasn't going to speak up. "Were you the one who hurt Tai?"  
  
"Yes," he retorted bluntly, his voice void of any emotion.  
  
"Why?" I was just as blunt.  
  
"Ask your boyfriend," a bitter edge had worked it's way into his voice sending chills down my spine.  
  
"I'm asking you Matt," I insisted. This was terribly frustrating! First Tai, now Matt! What did they have, some kind of oath? "Why did you beat Tai up like that?"  
  
"I'm not going to tell you Mimi, not now any ways. If Tai really loves you, he'll tell you," he said cryptically settling back into the both.  
  
"What do you mean 'if he really loves me'? What did he do?"  
  
"I told you Mimi, I'm not going to tell you.  
  
"Why the hell not? Dammit Matt!" I exploded, I didn't mean to but the day was wearing on me.  
  
He looked at me, hurt lining his expression and I instantly felt bad for blowing up at him.  
  
"I'm not saying anything," he said again raising from his seat.  
  
I grabbed his arm before he could leave. He wasn't going to get away that easily, if asking him nicely wasn't going to work then maybe tears would.  
  
"Matt please," I begged forcing my tears, "I need to know what happened. I'm so worried about him please."  
  
Matt closed his eyes, turning his gaze away from me. He was feeling guilty, excellent!  
  
"I-I… I can't Mimi," Matt stuttered, "please don't ask me again."  
  
"You have to tell me what happened Matt, I need to know!" I sobbed clutching onto him harder so he couldn't escape my grasp.  
  
I glanced around quickly to see a small crowd gather, this was embarrassing, but if it got me the answers I wanted then I'd do it again.  
  
"No Mimi," Matt said forcefully, angrily even, in a tone he never used with me. And to be honest with you it scarred me a little.  
  
"Matt," I tried again, but he placed his fingers over my lips, a gesture that sent electric chills throughout my body.  
  
"I'm not going to tell you Mimi, just ask Tai," he instructed, his eyes caught up in mine.  
  
The look he gave me startled me and excited me all at once; I forced those feelings down though, and let me anger flow throw me.   
  
"He won't tell me!" I screamed fed up with all the secrets that were being kept from me.  
  
"Well neither will I!" he shot back.  
  
I exhaled sharply and before I could stop myself I slapped him, hard and fast, my tiny fingers leaving reddening marks on his cheek.  
  
He looked at me with the most profound look of betrayal in his eyes, a look that made me shed more tears, real tears.  
  
"I'm so sorry Matt," I apologized quickly, but not quickly enough.  
  
"Goodbye Mimi," he whispered turning around and leaving the shop. He didn't look back, didn't say another word, he just left.  
  
God, what have I done? I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't.  
  
***  
  
~Three days later~  
  
"Tai?" I asked stepping into the kitchen after waking up from my unsettling night's sleep.  
  
For the third night Tai didn't retire to bed, instead he sat up at the kitchen staring miserably at the wall. I tried to get him to come to bed, but he refused my every summoning and remained at that wooden table. I don't remember being so cold or lonely, knowing Tai was just in the next room, but knowing he would stay there until dawn when he took to roaming the city.   
  
"Huh?" He muttered slowly lifting his head from its place on his arms to look at me.  
  
I could see the sleep in his eyes and the dark rings around his eyelids that came with staying up into the earliest hours. His usually shiny brown hair fell across his face, dull and limp, and I could see the fatigue his body was under going.  
  
"Why are you so glum, baby?" I asked with the cheeriest voice I could muster.  
  
"Umm… Mimi… I need to talk to you…" he whispered so softly that I could hardly hear his voice.  
  
"What is it?" my voice almost faltered as much as his did. This wasn't good; something's not right.  
  
His shoulders raised with the intake of a deep breath and he lowered his head once again.  
  
"Whatever it is Tai, you can tell me," I assured sitting down and taking his hand.  
  
"I'm not sure I know how to say this…" he began refusing to acknowledge my gesture, but instead he pulled his hand from mine gently.  
  
"Then say what you're thinking Tai, and we'll go from there," I advised my breath growing shallow to the point where I was holding my breath.  
  
"I love you, you know that right?" he asked quickly, his every word laced with guilt.  
  
I remained silent, unable to process the meaning of his question.  
  
"You… you know that night when I went out with Matt and the guys?" Tai asked just as quickly and just a little more quietly.  
  
I nodded quite dumbly, my mind beginning to haze from lack of oxygen so I forced myself to breath before he went on.  
  
When he finally raised his head and looked at me his big brown eyes that were beginning to glaze over with tears.  
  
"Well we met Sora…" he sighed, "and I… and I…"  
  
"You what Tai?" I spat jerking form my seat angrily. I had my suspicions at that point.  
  
This was it this was finally it. I knew Tai and Sora felt for each other, I just never thought that they'd take those feelings that far. But I'm jumping to conclusions, I have to be, Tai would never do that. Would he?  
  
"I went back… to Sora's," he confessed looking me in the eye. I saw hurt, guilt, everything but regret, but I knew he didn't regret what he did. He wouldn't have did it if he knew he was going to regret it.  
  
"Y-you slept with Sora, didn't you?" I stuttered out before he could say it, my voice surprisingly calm.  
  
He nodded never taking his eyes from mine for a moment.  
  
And for the first time in my life I was completely speechless. Even if I had the words to speak I had no breath to push them out, and for the first time in my life I couldn't cry. I wanted to cry so badly, if not because of the dull aching of my heart then to make Tai feel worse about what he did. I didn't cry though, as much as I tried I could force no tears from my wide eyes.  
  
"Say something Mimi, please," Tai begged taking my hands.  
  
I ripped my hands from his grasp violently. I didn't want him to touch me, not now, not ever again.  
  
"When I get back," I huffed when I finally found my voice, "I want you gone."  
  
It wasn't a request, but more of an order, an order I know he'd go through with.  
  
I didn't bother to grab my coat on my way out, where I was going wasn't far away and it wasn't that cold. Although if it was cold I'm not completely sure that my mind would have registered it through all the shock and anguish I was feeling.  
  
I entered the large apartment building just blocks away from my own and wandered through the hall with purpose, searching for the number 65 in dark brown. That was where he lived, my best friend.   
  
It was odd that the two of us became best friends in the first place, I started out as more of an older sister to him then anything else. I didn't mind, I had always wanted siblings, but don't ask me why. Our relationship went on like that for years, me protecting him when his real brother couldn't, and him brightening up my day with just a smile. When we grew older he no longer needed a protector so we began to look past our age difference and I saw him as more then just a brother, but never more then just a best friend, because that'd just be gross. After all I still in a way think of him as my little brother.  
  
When I rapped on his door he took only a few moments to answer it. The minute he looked at me I broke down and fell sobbing into his arms. My tears had finally come in full force and now that they have I'm glad Tai didn't see me cry. I'm glad he didn't get to see how much he really hurt me.  
  
"What happened Mimi?" my best friend's comforting voice came through my sobs as he pulled me into his living room.  
  
"It… it's horrible… oh TK!" I cried harder into his shoulder as his hands ran comfortingly up and down my back.  
  
"Did something happen between you and Tai?" TK guessed.  
  
I really wouldn't be surprised if he already knew; after all he was there with Tai.  
  
I nodded my body wracking with my heart-felt sobs. Oh how the pain ached inside of me, tearing me apart with each breath and every thought.  
  
"Why don't you sit down and I'll make us some tea and we can talk about it, huh?" TK sighed heavily sitting me onto the couch.  
  
Again I nodded and he left me to my tears to the make the tea he promised we'd have. He was so sweet, he really was. Kari was so lucky to have a guy like TK. TK would never hurt Kari… would never cheat on her… with her best friend! My flesh grew hot with my newfound anger and a steady crimson crept quickly across my cheeks.  
  
That jerk! How dare he! And how dare Sora! Argh! Who were they to be able to cause me such pain! Who were they to haunt my heart and my mind like they were now! I can see them in my mind so clearly, what must have happened, what did happen.   
  
I can see his lips brush hers ever so softy at first until all hesitation, all doubt melted away into a heated passion neither could resist, a passion neither wanted to resist. Tai would run his fingers over her faced, coaxing her lips apart to taste her, to drink her in like he once did to me, and she, so helpless to his ministrations would moan her permission for him to continue. And he would, he would until she'd fall asleep in his warm arms. He'd lay there and watch her, memorizing her every curve, her every expression as she slept, he'd breath in her sent until he'd go mad with desire. He'd wake her with his soft lips nibbling on her neck, and she'd stir from her peaceful dreams into another world that was so much better then a dream, a world with no hurt, no pain, no regret, but most importantly a world where he loved her wholly and completely.  
  
Damn them! It was so unfair. I thought he was the one… I thought we'd be together… I thought he loved me… I thought…  
  
"Mimi?" TK interrupted the conversation I was having with myself. "Here you go Mimi."  
  
He handed me a steaming cup of the green tinted liquid and I wrapped my hands around it letting the hot cup sear the nerve endings of my hands to try to focus my attention on the pain of my body and divert it from the pain in my heart.  
  
"Now tell me what happened, kay Mimi?" TK smiled gently sitting down beside me.  
  
"He confessed, Tai confessed to sleeping with Sora," I spat, the anger that made my temperature rise was still coursing through my veins. "He didn't even apologize! He's not sorry TK, he's not sorry for sleeping with Sora! He just… he just sat there… he…"  
  
TK looked away from me and I realized he had the same look in his eyes that Matt did in the coffee shop.  
  
"You knew, didn't you," I guessed, as my anger seethed away making me feel the despair I had before a despair that left my body exhausted.  
  
"I'm so sorry Mimi," TK apologized with all the sincerity he had when he was an innocent little child. "Matt made me promise not to tell you. He said to give Tai the time to tell you himself, he said that in the end you would have wanted to hear it from Tai any ways."  
  
I took a moment to think about that. I guess Matt was right, I would rather hear it come from Tai's lips first then from anyone else's. Matt always thought about everyone's feeling, even if he never showed his own. How had he known though? How could he possibly know what I'm feeling?  
  
"He was right, wasn't he?" TK smiled sadly.  
  
"How did he know?" my voice was beginning to shake as much as my trembling fingers were, my fatigue was getting to me.  
  
"Do you remember Polly?"  
  
"Matt's ex-fiancée?"  
  
TK nodded, "the reason why they never got married was because she cheated on him… with her roommate. That's who told Matt what had happened, her roommate."  
  
"So that was why he was charged with assault?" I remembered when TK had to bail Matt out of jail and no one would tell me why. It was a secret that remained between Matt and TK until now.  
  
"Yeah… she never really loved him… but he loved her, he loved her so much."  
  
"I never knew," I confessed.   
  
Now that I think about what happened to Matt I now know why he's so wild, so destructive. He's trying to stop the pain from over whelming him, from bringing him sobbing to his knees, and I didn't blame him one bit. If Matt was ready to get married then he must have loved her more then anything, more then his own heart and soul, more then his freedom and to have all that be ripped from him…  
  
"Nobody knows, but Matt would want you to know, he'd know you'd understand."  
  
"Thank you TK," I sighed leaning my head on his shoulder before he wrapped his arm around my body. "You always know what to do when I feel… so hurt."  
  
***  
  
Three months later  
  
~Tai's point of view~  
  
"Coffee please," I said, intertwining the fingers of my right hand through the ones on my left so that the waitress who was taking my order couldn't see my hands shake.  
  
"Right away sir," she smiled turning to make her way back to the bar of the restaurant.  
  
I don't remember ever being so nervous in my whole entire life! It's only nine in the morning and I've already had, like, three pots of coffee and I only woke up two hours ago. I'm sure the coffee isn't helping but I've got to do something to keep me occupied, all this waiting is killing me.  
  
What am I waiting for? That was a simple question that has just as simple an answer. I'm waiting for Mimi. She had finally agreed to meet with me after three months of apologizing, calling, asking friends to talk to her, even writing her. Three months and it all came down to this moment. This was the moment that was going to decide our friendship for the rest of our lives. I have to know if Mimi could ever forgive me, I have to know if we could still possibly be friends. I don't expect her to come running back to me, saying how much she still loves me and wants to be with me. I'd be a fool if I thought she was going to do that. The least I can hope for is that she'll be able to forgive and by chance out our past behind us and move on so that we could get our friendship back.   
  
That's all I really want I suppose, that's all I've ever wanted from her.   
  
"Here you go sir," the waitress who had taken my order had returned with my steaming cup of coffee.  
  
"Thank you," I whispered, afraid my voice might crack.   
  
I looked down into the black void that the coffee created. An inky blackness that nothing could penetrate but the pure white cream I had in my hand. I poured the thick liquid in slowly, lettings it's purity disperse throughout the darkness, lighting, even tainting it with its fairness. Perhaps it was the other way around though? Perhaps it was the darkness of the coffee, the murkiness of the liquid that tainted the pureness of the cream? Could I be that defiling coffee and Mimi the innocent cream? Has me sins and my wrongdoings tainted her beyond redemption as the coffee had the cream?  
  
"Tai?" a whisper so faint that my ears almost failed to catch it.  
  
But though its volume was hardly audible I knew the voice. The unsure tone, the disbelief, the unfathomable grief. It was Mimi, my beautiful Mimi. I looked up from my metaphoric coffee and looked at her for the first time in months.  
  
Her soft shimmering hair was tied back in a braid, her face was perfect, from the light rose on her cheeks to the deep red of her lips. She wore a light green summer dress that came up just past her knees and a pair of brown sandals that complemented that whole outfit.  
  
"M-Mimi," I stuttered as I rose from my chair to greet her.  
  
She made an attempt to smile, but it just didn't happen. I could see her eyes glaze over with the beginnings of tears, but she held them back. She didn't want me to see how much I had hurt her, but I knew, and I would be eternally sorry for hurting her like that.  
  
She sat down across from me, crossing her arms and legs. "Why am I here Tai?" she asked me bluntly.  
  
"I needed to see you Mimi, to talk to you. I know that what I did was wrong and I know that you'd never get back into a relationship like that with me again, but I need to say that I never meant to hurt you like that. I need to know that you know how much I loved you and how much I wanted to protect you from that kind of hurt. But I need to know if you can ever forgive me, if we could ever be friends?" I explained to her, my eyes never leaving hers.  
  
I watched her for a few minutes and could see the different emotions she was feeling dance cross her face as she searched for the answer to my question. Minutes past before she even tried to come up with a response and it took her a few tries for her words to escape her lips.  
  
"Tai… I-I want to tell you that it's all right, and that I forgive you, and that we can be friends again, but I can't. It's not all right. I don't think I've ever been so hurt or felt so betrayed in my life. I trusted you Tai, I loved you and you let me down, you failed me. I'm sure I'll be able to forgive you someday Tai, but I don't think that we could ever reclaim our friendship," Mimi explained, her voice cracking with anguish every now and then as tears formed in her eyes.  
  
It took awhile for me to understand exactly what she was saying. She might be able to forgive me, that was a relief, but we could never get our friendship back. I hurt her too much; it can never be like it was, not even when we were children. I would never be the one to comfort her when she was sad, I would never be the one to make her smile, I would never be the one to kiss her goodnight. I can never be that man because I spent the night with another woman willingly, without regret.  
  
"I understand Mimi," I grinned as best I could.  
  
"I should go Tai, there's no reason for me to stay any longer," she murmured rising from her chair.  
  
"Sure Mimi," I got up with her walking her to the door of the restaurant.  
  
She stopped long enough to face me. She looked so sad it made my heart ache.  
  
"Goodbye Tai," she whispered as if for the last time.  
  
"Goodbye Mimi," I whispered back and before I had the chance to think about it I leaned down and kissed her one last time.  
  
The kiss was bitter sweet, lingering on my lips even as she left the building, leaving me behind.  
  
~Matt's point of view~  
  
"Hey Matt! Matt wait up!" I turned around to see Mimi running at me. She must have come from one of the restaurants or something.  
  
"What's up Mimi?" I muttered, lowering my eyes to the ground once again.  
  
"Umm… I-I just came back from meeting… with Tai…" she stuttered out nervously as she came to walk beside me.  
  
"Oh? How did that go?" I tried to make it sound as if I didn't care, I don't think she bought it.  
  
"He… he wanted me to forgive him… he wanted me to forgive him and be friends again," she explained her eyes focusing on the movements of her feet like mine were only moments ago.  
  
"Are you? Are you going to let him back in your life like that? Are you going to forgive him?" I asked my questions so fast I could hardly tell what I said myself.  
  
I looked at her hesitantly, afraid of what the answer might be, but then she smiled at me. That beautiful smile of hers that brightened up my gloomy world, casting out the shadows, if only for a moment.  
  
"I'm going to forgive him… someday, but I can't be his friend, at least I can't be the friend I once was to him. There's no more trust, and that's what I need. I need to be able to trust the man in my life," Mimi explained, and I gave a sigh of relief.  
  
"Good for you, Mimi," I know it's lame, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.  
  
"Thanks Matt," Mimi's grin grew. "You know… if it wasn't for you, I don't think I could have done it. I don't think I would have been able to stop from doing what was good for me. I probably would have been crawling back to Tai right now begging him to take me back. It was you that gave me the strength not to do that."  
  
As she finished I stopped in my tracks, her words were really touching. "Me? I gave you the strength to do that? How could that be? I haven't even talked to you since you apologized for slapping me."  
  
"TK told me about what happened with you and Polly, I was sorry to hear about it, I know how much you must have loved her," Mimi smiled at me.  
  
Polly… I'd love to say that I forgave her and that I moved on with my life. That she taught me all these wonderful things and that the memories we made together would make me smile for the rest of my life, but honestly I couldn't. I hate her, I hate her for what she did to me, for what she left me with. I thought she was going to be the woman I spent the rest of my life with, but then I found out she was sleeping with her roommate.   
  
"I'm glad you could move on Mimi. I only wish that I could move on with my life, but I carry too much with me. Too much hurt, too much anger," I sighed, happy that Mimi could learn from my experience, sad that I could not.  
  
"I'll help you," Mimi promised taking my hand in hers and looking up to smile at me with her brilliant smile.   
  
"Will you?" I eyed her skeptically, but with a hint of amusement.  
  
"Yup," she giggled at my response, her dreary resolve melting over to her usual care free self. "You and me Matt, we're kindred spirits. We've had to live through some pretty bad things, but we always manage to help each other through the rough times."  
  
"Hmm… are you sure you can handle me?" I chuckled lightly. "You're going to see some pretty bad things."  
  
"I'm sure I can handle it," she assured.  
  
"Oh really?" I raised an eyebrow. "You weren't too impressed when you had to listen to me throw up, what make you think you can handle watching me throw up? I'm probably going to need someone to hold my hair back for me. Are you going to be able to pull all nighters at wild parties with me? Or even attempt to beat me at drinking games? Or compete with all the beautiful women for my attention?" I teased.  
  
She looked at me for a moment as if I had gone crazy then burst out laughing. "Well Matt, the way I see it is, you are going to have to stop drinking so much if you have any hope of keeping your liver past thirty, which means no more drinking parties. Plus just between you and me, I think I have every girl in Japan beat for your attention."  
  
"Is that so?" I laughed with her.  
  
"That's right," Mimi held her heard up and began to strut out in front of me, "so what do you think rockstar? Have I got your attention like I think I do?"  
  
"That and more," I grinned catching up to her to grab her hand again.  
  
There was just something so reassuring about having her tiny almost fragile hand in my own, something so right.  
  
The end 


End file.
